The seventh tenet of our congregational covenant urges us to “Bring concerns to the appropriate people, and assist others in the process as needed.” What precisely does this mean? Let’s look at the word “concern”; one dictionary defines it as “something that relates or pertains to a person.” Therefore, if you have a concern that is related to another person, the tenet is clear, go directly to that person and share your concern. Sounds simple, doesn’t it? It isn’t – or at least isn’t for me. I’ll be the first to admit, I am a moral coward. Often, when I have a concern about a particular person, I’ll talk to a trusted friend about the matter, which makes me feel a whole lot better, but doesn’t do very much toward solving the issue. In fact, it makes it worse because people talk and, yes, gossip! Sometimes the gossip can take on a life of its own and pretty soon rifts start to appear, alliances form, and sides are taken. This is disastrous in any community, but especially ours, which we love and want to see prosper.
So, we need to gird our loins, gather our moral fiber, and take our concerns directly to the person with whom we have the concern. If we do this respectfully and honestly, the concern can very often be resolved. It really is simpler in the long run.
Therefore, trusted friends, if I share with you a concern I have about another person, please help me to stay in right relationship by gently reminding me of this seventh tenet, to which I agreed in the first place. Thank you!
Jennifer Munro