Cats and Dogs
We love our animal friends, don’t we? Cats, dogs, parrots, budgies, hamsters, iguanas, guinea pigs, turtles, ferrets, tarantulas—we love those with which we feel an affinity. While some will say there’s no way a tarantula can be a pet (usually stated by an arachnophobe), and others question that your pet reptile is capable of showing affection, there seems to be a general acceptance of most other pets with people often expressing a clear preference of one type over the others. Nowhere is this latter point more clearly demonstrated than by those who have cats versus those who have dogs. For all too many, there is almost a battle line over defending one over the other.
I’ve heard arguments that one of them is smarter than the other—a ridiculous argument, as it’s challenging enough to determine intelligence in humans, much less between different animal species. Additionally, I’ve heard that one is more loving than the other, more social than the other, more whatever and whatnot. You’ve more than likely heard the same (and perhaps have taken a side).
Then, a couple of days ago while I was trying to come up with a topic for this week’s column, an email illustrating (albeit humorously) differences between dogs and cats hit my digital desk. As I am still struggling to develop ideas, this week I will gracefully defer to the following list which I believe just might tickle your fancy.
The Major Differences between Dogs and Cats
- Dogs will tilt their heads and try to understand every word you say. Cats will ignore you and take a nap.
- Cats look silly on a leash. Dogs wear theirs proudly.
- When you come home from work, your dog will be happy and lick your face. Cats will still be mad at you for leaving in the first place.
- Dogs will give you unconditional love until the day they die. Cats will make you pay for every mistake you’ve ever made since the day you were born.
- A dog knows when you’re sad and will try its best to comfort you. Cats don’t care how you feel, as long as you remember where the can opener is.
- Dogs will bring you your slippers. Cats will drop a dead mouse in your slippers.
- When you take them for a ride, dogs will sit happily on the seat next to you. Cats have to have their own private basket, or they won’t go at all.
- Dogs will come when you call them, and they’ll be delighted you want them. Cats will have someone take a message and get back to you.
- Dogs will play fetch with you all day long. The only thing cats will play with all day long are small rodents or bugs, preferably ones that look like they’re in pain.
- Dogs will wake you up if the house is on fire. Cats will quietly sneak out the back door.
- Dogs will let you confide in them and will take your secrets to the grave. Cats will sell you to the highest bidder.
- Dogs will attack burglars and defend your home and family any way they can. Cats will lead the burglar to where the valuables are kept, and then help the burglar load the getaway car.
- If the world were flat, dogs would run to the edge, look over, and whimper until you came to help them. Cats would run to the edge, look over, meow piteously until you came to save them, and then they would push you over the side.
I will now leave this to you dog and cat fanciers to argue amongst yourselves. But please keep it civil; the animals are watching.
On a Serious Note …
On a purely unrelated aside, I’d like to take advantage of this public forum for a personal message. If you’re reading this on Thursday, October 8, the day has special meaning for me. It was on this date, 43 years ago, that my better two-thirds and I tied the knot, jumped the broom, got hitched, put on the ball and chain, joined in matrimony; choose one of these or the expression of your choice.
Friends, especially my much younger ones, often ask for the “secret” to a long marriage. There isn’t any secret, of course, and I am always tempted to point them towards the obvious: mutual trust and respect, always saying (and meaning) “I love you,” working on issues so that they don’t become problems, being on the same page when it comes to parenting, and, especially, always communicating. But, while all of those are true, my answer is always the same: We’ve been married this long because Susan keeps missing parole. Poor thing—she missed it again this year and is stuck with me for another.
And we couldn’t be happier.
This week’s Street Advertising Smile:
