Names
“What’s in a name? That which we call a rose
By any other name would smell as sweet;
So Romeo would, were he not Romeo call’d,
Retain that dear perfection which he owes
Without that title.”
~ Romeo and Juliet, Act II, Scene II
This past Sunday, the SUUS Board of Trustees hosted a town hall meeting immediately following the scheduled service. In the course of the ensuing discussions, one member brought up concern about the name we use and if it should be changed. This is not a new topic for us—and possibly not for a large number of UU congregations—and over the years has been on the board’s back burner, the front burner, inside the oven, left in the microwave, you get the picture. As with so many other UU congregations, we are torn between the connotations and denotations of words such as church, congregation, fellowship, society, group, etc., especially as the choice of a name is perceived (rightfully so) as branding that can attract or detract potential visitors/new members.
During this part of the meeting, I found myself thinking of Shakespeare’s lines that began this column. Whatever we call ourselves—and there are ample reasons to both change our name and retain it as is—as with Romeo, I believe we would still “retain that dear perfection which we owe” regardless of how we’re referred to. SUUS isn’t a name; SUUS is a dynamic group of concerned, caring, involved, people who strive to make a difference within as well as without. So why even consider a name change? It comes back to branding.
Just like pretty much every other congregation in every faith everywhere, we’d like to grow. But we don’t want to grow just in the number of members, but in the number of like-minded members. We want good folks who are as committed to social justice, ethnic and gender equality, human rights, and coffee hour as we are. And, frankly, anyone in search of a new spiritual home (and, yes, we are spiritual) may be influenced positively or negatively by a group’s name. But, again, this, my good friends, is nothing new.
People and organizations, and even countries, have made name changes since ancient times. It was recorded as cave drawings that the first person to have a name change was Throg, a Cro Magnon from about 30,000 years ago. Throg was just hanging out with some friends from his tribe when a saber-toothed tiger named Melvin attacked the group. Throg spun around at the sound of Melvin’s menacing growl and threw a rock at the animal, knocking it senseless. He was thereafter known as Throg, the Melvin-Slayer. (Oh, you doubt me? Go ahead and get online and do a Google search. I’ll wait …)
All in all, Throg was pleased with his new name. History also records that he created the first name tag and wore his name proudly, showing it off to everyone day after day after day while regaling all with his tale of bravery, until an unfortunate accident ended his life, thanks to Grock, the Pain-in the-Butt Slayer.
Skipping ahead to the more easily verifiable via Google’s search engine, companies have a long history of name changes. In the 1600s, the Governor and Company of Merchants of London Trading into the East Indies decided their business cards were too big, and so it shortened its name several times until setting on East India Company.
In more recent years, Brad’s Drink became Pepsi, Tote’m changed to 7-Eleven, Pete’s Super Submarines begat Subway, and Sound of Music morphed into Best Buy. Even Google changed its name from BackRub (a smart move, although it would have been really fun to tell people you were going online to do a BackRub search).
And, of course, people change their names, most often for practical purposes. You are most likely aware of these familiar names that changed because, well, Hollywood told them to do so:
Norma Jean Mortenson changed her name to Marilyn Monroe
Maurice Joseph Micklewhite to Michael Caine
Richard Walter Jenkins, Jr. became Richard Burton
Doris Mary Ann Kappelhoff changed hers to Doris Day
Many politicians have also swapped names. Leslie Lynch King, Jr. was his birth name, but at age 12 he became Gerald Ford, Jr., his stepfather’s name. Although Senator Ted Cruz publicly criticized his opponent Robert O’Rourke for going by the nickname “Beto,” it needs to be said that Cruz’ first name isn’t Ted, but Rafael.
OK, it’s time for a game (oh, come on; you knew this was coming!). See how many of the following you can identify by their birth or original company names. The answers follow this list but, as always, no fair peeking.
1 .Jacob Cohen
2. Eric Marlon Bishop
3. Unadulterated Food Products
4. Frances Ethel Gumm
5. Reginald Dwight
6. Caryn Elaine Johnson
7. Cargo House
8. Confinity
9. Japan Optical Industries Co.
10. Ilyena Vasilievna Mironoff
11. Doroteo Arango
12. Phoebe Ann Moses
13. Goodfellow’s Dry Goods
14. Alphonso Joseph d’Abruzzo
15. Emanuel Goldenberg
Answers
1. Rodney Dangerfield
2. Jamie Foxx
3. Snapple
4. Judy Garland
5. Elton John
6. Whoopie Goldberg
7. Starbucks
8. PayPal
9. Nikon
10. Helen Mirren
11. Pancho Villa
12. Annie Oakley
13. Target
14. Alan Alda
15. Edward G. Robinson
Wasn’t that fun? I’ve always found it interesting to learn name changes. There’s usually a good reason, but sometimes it’s just a lucky switch. But, the change has to be made to better represent the individual or company or organization.
Which brings me back to the beginning of this column. After careful consideration, deep meditation, and exhaustive research, I have determined the best name for SUUS to switch to. Here it is: “A Good, Safe, and Caring Place.”
I know what you’re thinking: “Mike, that’s ridiculous.” You’re right, of course. I was all set to send this suggestion to Mary, our SUUS board president, to be submitted for consideration at the next board meeting, but I knew the name would never fly. It doesn’t even begin to explain to the unfamiliar that we’re a faith-based group, that we’re a congregation, or even that we’re Unitarian Universalists. It just wouldn’t work as a name. Which is a pity, quite frankly. Because a good, safe, and caring place describes us. Perfectly.
This week’s Street Advertising Smile:
